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Image via WikipediaHas it been that long since my last post? Unbelievable! In the five years I've been doing this blog, I don't think I've even gone that long. Here's the skinny. If you follow this post, you know this is a creative outlet for me and I enjoy writing. It's a way for me to deal with the world and the things I see. Often times I've commented on how "attitude is everything" and the value of being positive. The truth be told, my attitude isn't where it needs to be. I feel like I've been living in a haze of depression where it seems I can do nothing right and everything always goes wrong to the point where I question if I should even try to get out of bed in the morning. I still have my crazy or creative ideas that come and go. I work on them part way and then quit because it will just be another in a long line of failures. I start a job and then want to quit before I get fired. I guess when you have a long line of failures, nobody believes in you and why should they when I don't believe in myself anymore. Even the things that should be positive for me is hard because I keep looking for ways to find more negative. Maybe I'm trying to find that rock bottom spot where things can't get any worse. I don't know any more...All I can look back on is a time when I had a great job and was a positive person, what made me a positive person? Well, for one thing, I had a boss that was so positive, that he made me positive and motivated to do my best. I had a job where people believed in me enough to let me run with an idea, knowing that I would turn it into a success. Maybe I'm not hanging around enough positive people? But even if I was, it really isn't their responsibility to motivate me. Motivation should come from inside of me and have nothing to do with anyone else. Problem is, I don't live on an island. I live in a real world that says I should be this or that and if I'm not this or that, I'm one big failure.
Image via Wikipedia
Image via WikipediaHas it been that long since my last post? Unbelievable! In the five years I've been doing this blog, I don't think I've even gone that long. Here's the skinny. If you follow this post, you know this is a creative outlet for me and I enjoy writing. It's a way for me to deal with the world and the things I see. Often times I've commented on how "attitude is everything" and the value of being positive. The truth be told, my attitude isn't where it needs to be. I feel like I've been living in a haze of depression where it seems I can do nothing right and everything always goes wrong to the point where I question if I should even try to get out of bed in the morning. I still have my crazy or creative ideas that come and go. I work on them part way and then quit because it will just be another in a long line of failures. I start a job and then want to quit before I get fired. I guess when you have a long line of failures, nobody believes in you and why should they when I don't believe in myself anymore. Even the things that should be positive for me is hard because I keep looking for ways to find more negative. Maybe I'm trying to find that rock bottom spot where things can't get any worse. I don't know any more...All I can look back on is a time when I had a great job and was a positive person, what made me a positive person? Well, for one thing, I had a boss that was so positive, that he made me positive and motivated to do my best. I had a job where people believed in me enough to let me run with an idea, knowing that I would turn it into a success. Maybe I'm not hanging around enough positive people? But even if I was, it really isn't their responsibility to motivate me. Motivation should come from inside of me and have nothing to do with anyone else. Problem is, I don't live on an island. I live in a real world that says I should be this or that and if I'm not this or that, I'm one big failure. 
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